Counting Blessings

Amidst the alarms, sensors, cords, and flashing lights of NICU, the world can seem to spin. Some days it is difficult to remain optimistic. In the middle of measuring bottles, weighing diapers, analyzing skin color, lung sounds, blood vessels--analyzing everything-- it is easy to become focused on your own situation and let everything else fade into obscurity.

But when I raise my head and things come into focus, I realize just how blessed we are. The Lord has truly performed miracles in our life. While I cuddle my tiny, perfect son I can often hear shuffling feet and low voices in other rooms where things are not going so well. When I get discouraged because Brennon's little heart and lungs struggle to keep up with the demands of living outside the womb too soon, I look across the hall at the little ones who have machines breathing for them. Many little ones around us are battling infection, and their parents have to wear a mask, cap, and gown just to visit them. Some cry constantly because their tiny nerves are so immature that even the touch of their blankets causes pain.

I hid behind a curtain and bawled my eyes out the other night as I witnessed a mother silently hold her baby girl who had been in NICU since November and was still needing to be transferred for higher level care. She was saying goodbye. Because of the distance she was being transfered, they would not have the resources to visit often.

I look around, and I am humbled and awed at how blessed we are--at how much we have been spared and how much we have been given. We are exhausted, overwhelmed, inarticulate, and unsure, but so grateful.